Sai Ram and wish you a very happy Holi. Although this year started with Amavasya,which I feel is not good,yet the only thing in our hands is to wish well of others.
I thought that I will be able to conclude this mail business with this part two, but there are some essential things, which I want to convey and as there will not be any other chance, the mail may have third part.
Otherwise also my condition is like this only-
”Padey hein joe Jail main apni,
Unhein kya vaasta doon?
Joe nikalana hee na chahein,
Unhein kya raasta doon?
Duayen inkey liye mein
Bekahey hee maangta hoon,
Nasamajh Joe nahin
Kya bhala unkoe bata doon?”
I am also part of this world which I always call ”Jamboree Of Nerds”,where most of us do not understand the basic problem of living. In fact now a days we are constantly inundated with new information,but our brain captures a very little portion of it. I will give you one example. The problem is that,at the moment money is being spent on the research to prevent us from dying,in stead of encouraging us to live livelier,riskier lives. We might be more likely to die suddenly and there by have a better and acute death,as well as living a better life. Unfortunately acute death is often protracted into chronic death and disability.
And it becomes a problem.Just pay attention to this and see all around. Most of us are living a handicapped,unreasonable life due to so called medical aids. That is why ,do everything dangerously, live dangerously, love dangerously,hate dangerously,pray dangerously and even die dangerously. In modern age the motto isn’t to be or not to be,rather it is how to prolong being,howsoever pathetic it may be.
These last few years after leaving my job from EPI turned out to be wonderful. Although while leaving it,spiritual reasons were foremost, there was apprehension about money,about the future of my daughters as practically my finances were on bad shape. Moreover I used to think that how much I can read, meditate or do pooja or write or meet people with the uncanny feeling that I have to do this out of compulsion. But afterwards things started taking shapes. I started going out,traveling more,giving discourses and taking workshops. My elder daughter got settled after the marriage. Moreover I met some wonderful people and they became close friends. I found someone Iike a son who insists like few others that I am his Guru (I am not). But he is having lot of possibilities. I also started going to some organization,where I met few boys who became like my younger brothers and few girls who almost became my daughters. Yes there were very few who tried to undermine me and harm me. Once it made me angry and I wanted to act then suddenly I realized,it is just their karmas and why to build my karmas for someone else? I had not harmed anyone in anyway and I am always respectful with all the people. So if they have their complexes let them have those complexes even if they want to harm me. This is not my way of life.
And I met during this period, Guruji Shri Umeshwar Srivastava and Sriram Sir. Both are fountainhead of spirituality and love. It was the biggest gain of my life.
But yes, my Guru Maharaj left his physical body and it was one of the biggest loss after my father’s death. But I realized that he has never left me. He is always with me.
This period also gave me one of the biggest shocks of my life. I tried to lift someone,put that person back on rails and take out of sorrow. But that person as soon as was back on rails,humiliated me and insulted me. I invested all my remaining love,time and energy on that person and also tried to give my knowledge and experience. When someone betrays you,insults you,it does not cause sorrow. Sorrow is only caused when that person thinks that he or she was able to use you considering you a fool. I can read a person,the future,past and present. But destiny is strange. It closes your eyes to the truth and you ignore your intuition and all the negative signals coming from that person. That person taught me a lesson on deception and selfishness almost near the end of my life.First time I came to know that cunningness and meanness has nothing to do with age and people can even fake sorrow. But I also learnt the true meaning of MOHA (attachment). When I used to read that one should not have Moha,I never understood it’s true implication. Moha makes one blind to all the facts. It also forces you to ignore other persons shortcomings,faults and cunningness and ultimately you suffer like Dhrutrashtra. I believe that Dhrutrashtra was not blind. He just became blind out of his Moha for his off springs and closed his eyes against all their sins. It only resulted in that great war Mahabharat. I was mad with anger and wanted to harm that person in all the possible ways (of course I had means),but Bhaisaheb just appeared and said,”I am with you” and I understood that I cannot take any action because it was his way of letting me know that if I involve myself in such trifle things, I will fall from my spiritual plane and since he has given me his blessings as his disciple,he will also be a partner to this and it will effect him also. So I understood that I would simply have to suffer,as it is part of my karmas and it is also spiritual cleansing.I should not even think of what should happen to that person,let the natural justice take place and do not wish any outcome as per my wishes.
The only lesson learned was that one can always tell how much one loves someone by how much they can hurt the one.
We give undue importance to ourselves,our physical appearance,our status,our money,our power,our achievements,our intelligence, our capabilities and also our so called love,which is not love but only our meanness to use the others for our advantage or our weakness to cling to others for emotional or other supports.
Do we understand that the bacteria that is currently in our gut,which help us digest food,will eat our body after we die. This is how the things are. We cannot do any thing. In this world everything is already arranged. Then why we give undue importance to our so called achievements? Everything including our family, friends,status,the money we have,was pre determined,already planned and fixed. Why we fail to understand that whosoever ordered the butterfly’s digestive system, arranged for the solar system also. If we understand this, we will throw away this heavy burden of ego at once.
There is no particular ,message in this mail. The story of mankind is strange. We just want to avoid trouble. What do we think actually? Generally speaking,the most common ideal is to be born in an environment,comfortable enough to avoid too many difficulties in life,to marry someone who won’t give you too much trouble,to have healthy children,who grow up normally again to avoid trouble and then a quiet and happy old age and not be too ill,again to avoid trouble and to pass away when one is tired of life,again because one does not want any trouble.
And troubles are just around the corner to pounce on you. The more you try to avoid them,the more they try to catch hold of you and the life is wasted in this constant struggle.
And to avoid trouble in spiritual life we grab some scripture or catch hold of some Guru,living or dead who make us mentally handicapped. We have forgotten to ask fundamental questions about life. We have to understand that human beings come into a physical body without knowing why,most of them go through life without knowing why they have their bodies and we have to begin the same thing all our again,indefinitely, until one day, someone inside us tells us,”Be careful! You know there is a purpose to all this. You are here for some particular work,don’t miss your opportunity.”
And what is this work? It is to live and enjoy our very existence. The purpose is not self enlightenment only. It’s not a Bhool Bhulaiyan. There is some higher purpose than our so called enlightenment. Please don’t stop at what these Gurus tell you ”Know Thyself”. After knowing yourself,the actual journey starts. You have to understand that journey does not stop at realizing,’I AM THAT’,rather the purpose of existence is ‘THAT’ wants to know through you WHAT IS HE ( OR SHE OR THAT).
This is the basic purpose of this whole game called cteation,existence. Therefore I urge you to throw away your scriptures,teachings. Please find and follow your inner Guru, and if that inner Guru leads you to some particular book or Guru, do go. Because then it is your instinct,your own understanding,which is directing you to them,not any outward influence. All these dead words from Granth Sahib, Quran, Gita, Bible, Sakhis or even the teachings of Masters like J.Krishnamurti,Osho, Kabir,Gorakh, Shankeracharya carry no meaning unless you discover your own truth. They all carry dead words. Why you want to become a ‘cut and paste person? Be original,be authentic. We are doing nothing but chewing these dead words like a cow. In Hindi we have a beautiful word for this,it is JUGAALI. The truth has to be your own and that is the beauty of this whole search. You have to grow and nurture your own plant to really enjoy the beauty,smell and color of the flower of your own plant. So friends either become act rue seeker or take the drugs of books and Masters and go to deep sleep.
Once again I wish you a very Happy and colorful Holi. May this time it brings lot of happiness and joy in your life.
With warm regards.
Ever yours in Baba’s grace