This is the concluding part of my last mail.After this I’ll not bother you with my thoughts. Since it is final conversation, it will be slightly lengthy.Please bear with me.
I love this poem by Shailly-
”One world is too profaned
For me to profane it;
One feeling too falsely disdained
For thee to disdain it;
One hope is too like despair
For prudence to smother;
And pity from thee more dear
Than that from another.
I can give not what men call love;
But wilt thou accept not
The worship the heart lifts above
And the heavens reject not,-
The desire of the moth for stars,
Of the night for the morrow,
The devotion to something afar
From the sphere of our sorrow”.
These words are very close to my heart.
I always say that truth is One only and it is eternal. There cannot be so many procedures, rituals, scriptures and Gods.Neither there can be so varied methods and ways to reach God,sorry Gods.Basically in past these things were fed to the minds which were illiterate but intelligent. Such people were in search of some authority to tell them what to do in this uncertain and unpredictable life.So it was easy to pierce their psyche by some higher intelligence/extra terrestrial civilization.Most of the prophets,teachers were not literate although they were intelligent,wise and compassionate and they were in search of the meaning of life.So they never questioned so called revelations, and the masses with their lazy minds just followed them.A literate, analytical,logical mind would have resisted all this,might have questioned all these revelations.This is with all so called scriptures-Vedas, Bible,Quran etc.So it may or may not be the truth.So one has to find truth on his own without help of scriptures & Masters,otherwise we are just tape recorders,playing recorded messages,
whether of Gita,Quran,Bible,Granth Saheb or some present day Masters like Osho,JK,Ravishanker Poonja Saheb or so called Adwait Masters.The more we listen to them and meditate on them, more we programme ourselves.Spirituality is deprogramming ourselves, just to erase all the forced knowledge.I say again and again that these Masters might have find the truth,but it was their own personal truth,totally irrelevant to us.Your truth will be different,which you have to discover on your own.So become rebel, throw away whatever second hand information you have received from the scriptures,saints and Masters (Even these present day Masters are simply interpreting the same old scriptures and have nothing new to say).Just put a question to yourself-Is it so,that reading and learning all these scriptures and listening to these Masters had made you a better human being?Is it so that following certain rituals,going to temples,churches,gurudwaras and masjids had made you more humane,compassionate and loving?Have you been able to recognize your own cunningness,lies borne out of your insecurities? If no,then all your so called spiritual activities are of no value.
Have you ever wondered,why there are so many breeds? Why there are so many castes and human beings of different colors and physical shapes? Why there are so many religions,castes and rituals? I think Earth is a “colonized” planet.There are no indigenous Earthlings.All persons of Earth were brought in from other parts of the Galaxy.This explains the many different races,cultures,religions of Earth,differences that could not be possibly be explained by climate alone.It also explains why Scientists of Earth have not found (and will never find) the so called ‘missing link’ between humans and apes.The missing link does not exist because Earth is a colonized planet.
Basically behind all our spirituality is the fear of future,rather death.Why we should have this fear of death? Why we do not want to admit that we are mortals? Why we want to transcend death? Why we are scared of impermanence of life? Have we ever asked these questions to ourselves? And what will happen if we transcend death? Have we ever realized that all our life is spent in trying to avoid death? Whether it is pursue of materialistic life or spiritual life,the fear of death is always behind these activities.Do we realize that it is not death or impermanence of life we have to transcend,it is fear of death which we have to transcend.If we have no fear of death do we think that we will gave any importance to spirituality or religion or God?Don’t pay attention to so called permanence of soul etc as they carry no meaning in the present life we are living. Why we want to play with these toys? Realize that in the Casino,death is taking everything slowly,everyday we are losing this gamble and death is winning.Sometimes I feel as if all the Masters,scriptures are leading us astray,they are nor telling us to face death directly,rather they talk about all hypothetical things,like salvation,afterlife and realization. If we are into spirituality for the sake of love with The Creator and the Creation,it is different matter,but if we are into it for finding permanence in life or avoiding that reality called death,we are altogether on wrong path.This is not spirituality,it is just running away from the fear of death.We are born and live with the uncanny feeling that death is somewhere nearby.This fear,this uncertainty of life is the base of all this spirituality and religion. If we do not have this fear of death,we will never search for the meaning of
Iife,we will never search God.Basically in searching them,we try to find out certainty and permanence in this transitory life.That is why we have given a concept to God that He is permanent,He is eternal.What if God is also born and go for the dissolution with this world?Nothing is certain,nothing is permanent in this world. We want to cling to this life,we want to exist eternally and due to this we have created so called paraphernalia of God, Enlightenment, spirituality and religion.
If we are not spiritual or religious we try to forget death,uncertainty of life by involving ourselves in some other impermanent thing like money,job,sex,status,power and for that we keep ourselves busy in very trifle things like deceits, lies, exploitation. We use others,we manipulate and exploit others thinking that it will give us permanency to our impermanent lives. For our self interest if we are not able to eliminate someone physically,we will by all means try to slaughter and butcher his heart and soul.
Then what is spirituality? It is not search of the meaning of life,because life has no meaning.It is just to understand that everything alongwith all pur concepts about life,God etc are false.We are just alone in this world of illusions where your friends,familiy, job,status,power,love everything is impermanent and transitory.So spirituality is to understand and accept that aloneness,without any grief, sorrow and fear.If you open your eyes,you are awake,all this Illusion ( we call it Maya ) like family,friends, money,status, power, love will disappear in an instant and you will be totally alone,totally silent without any ripple of thought.
We have to change our way of looking at the persons.We have to understand that when we meet someone we see their exteriors,not the real Being within. This is true spirituality against that of provoked by fear of death.
I always say that in real meditation we simply come face to face with aloneness and we die to everything else in this life.
I had find put in life that people in this world consider you a fool,try to derive advantage from you, if you are considerate,humane,loving and compassionate. People always tried to use me. Sometimes it was just emotional blackmail.And of happened from every quarter.whether friends,colleagues or relatives.Barring few they never bothered about my problems and sufferings,but whenever they wanted something from me,they always started talking like Messiah,preaching me all the morality. That time they pretended to be my only well wishers. Once I asked Bhaisaheb”Do I look to be such a big fool?” He just laughed and said,”You are lucky as He has provided this set up purposely to speed up the process. Be thankful to them for what they are doing to you.” That is what I am doing now. But yes there were always few friends who stood by me and of course out of all my relatives,my younger brother Rajat who helped my daughter to complete her studies in States.
My work is almost over. My elder daughter has chosen her life and doesn’t require my advice.It was the life chosen by her.She is intelligent enough besides being capable and responsible. I want her to lead a good and happy life and I also know that she will take care of her mother and younger sister. It is not,that she is not doing it right now. She is taking care of everyone including me.Sometimes we do have differences,but they do not interfere in the bonding of the family. I am slightly worried about my younger daughter who is not only innocent but naive and emotional also.She doesn’t understand the crafty ways of people and this world.In this sense she is
like her mother. But I am sure that Shriya will make her adapt in worldly ways.And with Mamta my daughters have very strong bonding.She will be always happy with them.My daughters,specially the elder one has fought with me several times,taking her side.It was probably right because I admit that I am a crazy fellow,who does not compromise easily and live in an entirely different world of my own.
I had been left with very few fellows on whom I have to work in such a short time. One of them,who carries my heart had to go out of India due to compelling circumstances. I am doing whatever I can do from this distance and I am sure of his success.There are few more,who are very dear to me.Let us see,if I can finish my work on them.
Now a days people are confused. They may appear to be happy or successful but basically they are frustrated.Most of us are all over the place. Like our worldly life,in spiritual life also we feel that we wish to form a good habit,we practice for a fortnight,then hear of something else exciting,drop the first practice,and before that is fixed,run to something else. In fact this is the reason why Gurus like Osho are successful. In fact we must think well whether the thing is for us,and if we decide it is,then stick to it. We should not be busy always in fault-finding of the others which simply makes us feel and appear superior. We should refrain from ”inner considering” (a term coined by the rascal saint Gurdjieff ), thinking about oneself and how others see one, rather that ”externally considering,” taking others into account.We have to understand that when we resent anything in someone,it means that we resent that very thing in ourselves.
There are people who swear by Vedic Sanskriti or our heritage but they have forgotten everything about basic courtesies. Then what purpose does it serve when our ultimate aim is only to exploit and use the other person? How this Vaidic Sanskriti changes our way of living,if we come to know that the things used to be like that in the past? The very persons who talk of Vedic Sanskriti all the time lead a life which is contrary to it.They simply live for money and for that they manipulate and use the people. This provides them with a mask to hide their real face.Whatever they know is nothing but cut-paste from Net.Do we know that in spite of our so called Vedic Sanskriti,India faced two worst wars in ancient time I.e. Mahabharat and that onslaught of Dravidas not only all over Aryavrat but Lanka also by so called propagators of Vaidic Sanskriti, Aryans.These wars totally destroyed Bharatvarsh which also suffered a lot afterwards. What Vaidic Sanskriti has done when India was constantly being attacked by foreigners? Otherwise also thoughts and actions have to be always renewed,to be reformed constantly.Everything should be interpreted according to prevailing period.There is no point in repeating like parrots,that it used to be like this on ancient times when animals were sacrificed in Yagyas which were conducted for totally eliminating the other human beings. What Vaidic Sanskriti? And please undetstand ,that time will not come back,if there are People who keep on reminding you about that period,they are just doing it for their livelihood and nothing else.Time is a dynamic entity. It changes and with it changes everything.Is it that if we talk of Vaidic Sanskriti,we are thinking about some basic courtesies and humanitarian things.I have one experience of childhood,which I want to share. My father always used to take me to his friend’s houses in Bombay.Sometimes we used to travel for almost an hour in local trains and buses.Sometimes after reaching the destination he will suddenly say that we will come next time.It happened two three times.Once I asked him,”Papa why sometimes you don’t meet your friend and just return?” He gave a reply which is engraved on my heart.He said,”I never want to enter my friend’s house empty handed.Sometimes if I am not able to take something from the house,I try to buy on way.But if nothing is available,I don’t meet them.We are taking precious time of that person and his family.In this manner we apologize for the inconvenience caused to them and show our love and respect.”After his death,I went to meet several of his friends and acquaintances,and almost everyone said,”Your dad was a great man. We knew that he is not doing well,but he never came empty handed.”
With me it is very common.People come to me with their problems,their work,sit for hours but they never bring anything.It is not that I require anything,but they forget that they are putting the whole family into inconvenience.I always say that even if you are going to some temple or to your Guru,please don’t go empty handed.If nothing is possible please take a flower to offer them.If you are not ready to show this small gesture,how do you expect them to do anything for you? Although they will do it out of compassion,but you lose a chance to show your gratitude to them.
OSHODHARA- Once I had a chance to go to Oshodhara Ashram and see their Masters. Normally I refrain from saying anything critical about these present day Masters, but that experience being the most pathetic on my spiritual journey is engraved on my mind. Whom they were trying to copy in that ridiculous attire? The one they were trying to copy was at lest original in that sense. There was vulgar display of ego and their so called second hand knowledge. During conversation the main person was saying very bad things about some other Master. What was all this? Had your disciples come to listen to all this? Show your virtue instead of pointing out the shortcomings of others. He said to someone that J. Krishnamurti was suffering from migraine. I was shocked.then I started reading their lectures and books. In one book he wrote that Ramakrishna Paramhans got enlightened due to SWAD TANTRA (it was his own invention as I have never heard of any such Tantra). It made me really very angry. They were involved in some litigation regarding Ashram land. The lawyer used to come to me as he was husband of one of my very old friend. So I sent a letter to the main master through him,saying that this is totally absurd and you should refrain from giving such comments about Thakur. I think you don’t know anything about him.
There is no parallel to Thakur in the history of spirituality. The so called Guru told my friend that ask him to come to Ashram and then I’ll explain to him. I was really annoyed and asked my friend to tell him,that let us discuss the whole thing in your purchased TV slot or in front of your disciples. I don’t need any explanation,rather I want to tell something about Thakur to him. So that he doesn’t misguide his disciple and he will also learn something about true spirituality. My friend said that he has not given any reply. Why people go to such gurus who simply boast about themselves and their such garbage like knowledge? They simply repeat and interpret the dead words of a teacher who himself was not original. He simply thrived on raising controversies and criticizing Teaches like Ramkrishna Paramhans,JK,Meher Baba and Muktanand Baba.
There is another present day master who has employed a team of MBAs to run his spiritual empire. He is selling everything right from enlightenment to medicines for joint pain. Sometimes he arranges for hundreds of Sitarits for public concerts. It is good for relaxation but what spirituality has to do with it, I fail to understand.In Kashmir Saivism they advise you not to hear instruments like Tabla,Pakhawaz etc. They say that it’s sound takes one to a state which one considers wrongly the state of Samadhi,but it is only relaxation nothing else. I feel that it is not worthy for the spiritual masters to indulge in social service. Their realm is mind and soul.They are doctors of mind and soul,and the social work,howsoever noble it may be,like hospitals,schools require lot of money,and when ,money is involved corruption creeps in and everything become questionable.So Spiritual Masters should adhere to spiritual upliftment of the humanity only.One has to understand that spiritually is not relaxation.Spiritually is a tough game.One has to suffer in it.When the people say it is bliss,it is happiness,just believe me it is all nonsense. It is ultimate suffering.One suffers bodily,mentally.Not only one is ridiculed on this path,one is also considered a fool by everyone as everyone thinks that one can use and manipulate a spiritual person with ease.
When you see the disciples of all these Masters
Iike Osho,Ravishanker,Jaggi etc,I suggest that one should look into their eyes deeply.Their eyes are devoid of Masti (enjoyment). Their eyes are the eyes of a drugged person,totally oblivious to anything else,other than the Masters words.They are asleep.Osho may be a very capable person but his one time P.A. had written that he was always on very high dozes of tranquillizers and he was almost paranoid for diamonds and Rolls Royce. I don’t give weightage to such things as, enlightenment has nothing to do with such matters,but the way he abused Baba Muktanand,Ramakrishna Paramhans and even J. Krishnamurti,made me think that he has not been able to cross that barrier which ego and self deception create.He only elaborated JK with the help of Sufism,Zen,other philophies like Tantra.He was extremely capable person,a very rare intelligence but his ideas of synthesizing various techniques proved to be disastrous.They simply drugged his disciples with the illusion that they have reached their goals,while in fact they only learned techniques of self hypnosis and auto suggestions. I believe that it is disastrous to intermix two different systems.All the ways and all the systems are exclusive only.
Spiritual life is really very difficult and full of hardships. I also suffered with acute depression and almost gave up my career for the pursuing the spiritual goal.It was necessary but there were people who misunderstood it. They thought that I am a weak person mentally and physically.I could never explain to outside world,what was going inside my body and mind and through what process,I was being tested,cajoled and tormented.This is part of spiritual cleansing. But sometimes people not only humiliated me,but made my wife Mamta also to suffer. Once it annoyed me so much that I wanted to take revenge. I had strength,resources and connections for it. Of course the result would have been in God’s hand only and all my efforts would have gone waste, but it would have given me satisfaction that I had done something to salvage my and her pride. Mamta used to plead,”Please don’t do it,you will fall from your place.” But I was adamant and I went to my Guru Maharaj. Before I could have opened my mouth,Bhaisaheb came to know everything. He simply said,”Bhagwanji leave it,let God decides. Believe in natural justice. It can be delayed for years,but it is always dispensed and if you take things in your hands,you will become Yoga Bhrashta. You will loose all you spiritual treasure.” Out of anger I said,”No Bhaisajeb,I will not listen to you. I will do whatever is possible.” He simply smiled and said,”Then I will have to come with you and follow you. It is not that only you are bound to me,I am also bound to you.”And these words transformed me completely. I fell on his feet and he lifted me and embraced me. At that moment I understood JK’s words completely,”Just accept “What is,” don’t try to change it.
Strangely we have forgotten our inner Guru. We are always in search of some outer Guru or some Scripture who can guide us step by step,which can solve all our problems. One of my friend is devotee of a Guru who said once that The Mother of Aurbindo Ashram and Swami Vivekanand asked him for Saktipaat. I held that Master in great reverence. He was a great soul,great Saint and great Master. But just see the subtle game of Maya and ego.Why Vivekanand will come to him for transmission,when his Master is one of the greatest of all the spiritual Masters of all times-Ramakrishna Paramhans Himself. And The Mother? She is considered to be The Universal Mother herself and responsible for spiritual revotution not only in India but all over the world. In fact,God, Brahma or whatsoever we call Him,does not allow anyone to understand Him fully. He creates all these problems of subtle ego, illusions to keep us away from Him. That is why I always repeat Thakur’s words”No body can know Him.”
Suddenly Adwaita Teachers are mushrooming. Whatever they preach is not Adwaita. I don’t say that they are not evolved,but their concept of Adwaita is not authentic. Neti Neti is denying everything. They say that after negating everything only that One is left. Do we understand that we have to say Neti ( No ) to that One also. In fact there is not even One. There is nothingness. We try to impose something on that nothingness and here the problem arises. I had listened to all these present day Adwaita Masters. They all are pushing their views without ever listening to other views. They corner the seeker by constantly hammering the poor seeker with their rigid explanations and the seeker feels that he has understood everything.He feels happy after taking that stiff doze of sedatives. I want to insist that all this world and everything is not illusion. Please don’t become insensitive to your worries,pain,failures and diseases,considering them Maya. Do you think you will be subjected to them without any purpose? They have to be understood,tackeled properly and then we have to move beyond them. why He will make so much effort and take time to create ILLUSION? And Masters say that we have to come out of that illusion. Is it that,He had simply made this illusion or Bhool Bhulaiyan(the place where we loose our way) to enable us to get out of this? What is this nonsense? This is totally ridiculous. This world is a fact and the whole purpose of the creation is to enjoy this very existence and evolve. If you read the scriptures they also admit that although things are being created out,coming out through Him,He is also not aware how all this is happening. This is shocking.
What purpose of the creation is served if one gets enlightened? I ask bluntly, Who ever got Enlightened? What is Enlightenment? Please don’t buy the Opium of Enlightenment being sold by so called Enlightened Masters.
One more thing we have to understand that spirituality is not collecting information. One of my friend who is a very nice human being and whom I had tried to give direction is very much busy only in collecting information. He wants to lay his hands on every book suggested by others. Not only that he wants to visit every place suggested by the people whom he thinks that they know spirituality. We have to understand our capacity and capability also as there are no general medicines on this path. I always suggest the book, place or Guru to a person after considering his overall personality. We should know that most of the time people refer the books,persons or places just to impress and everything is not meant for everyone. We have limited time with us. Believe me,whatever is required for our spiritual development, a person,book or place will manifest on its own by His grace. This is Divine Law. He tried different Masters, Mantras and go to different places not solely for spiritual reasons. I never say that using spirituality for worldly desires,gains and achievements is a bad thing. This world has to exist and run and everyone is not supposed to get out of the loop. So if you want,definitely try the spiritual means for your worldly desires and purposes,but don’t mix so many methods, Gurus, Rituals, Mantras. Stick to one and wait patiently. Otherwise we can loose even the things which we have in our hands. And we should try to be honestly open to the people whom we approach for spiritual upliftment. Spiritual life is not corporate life. I love him and had done for him whatever is possible for me without telling him,but I have my limitation as I cannot do much if person conceals the facts and is not totally open.
In the end I just want to say that we are here because we have a mission to fulfill and for fulfilling that mission,we are given Consciousness. This consciousness is given to us for doing something. The whole spirituality is to find out what is that I have to do? I differ even with Raman Maharishi here, the fundamental question is not to ask,”Who am I?”rather it is ”Why I am here?”
Just change your orientation from who to why and it will transform your life.
Why I want to stop sending the mails specially to the people whom I know only not as a seeker or spiritual person but just as relatives,friends,
There is a couplet-
”Jhoot koe aadat bana loon maslhat odha karoon,
Dost kehatey hein ki pee ker bhi such na bola karun,
Zaher kitana bhi hoe bahaar ki fizaon main magar,
Fikr main misri bharoon izhaar koe meetha karun,
Din main huns huns ker milun apney se bhi gairon se bhi,
Raat koe ghar key daro-deeewar se jhagada Karoon,
Dekh ley who bhi merey angan main phaili subh koe,
Mar gaya hai Joe merely under usey zinda Karoon.
Sahilon ki rate kya degi pata dost mujhey
Utroon paani main toe gehrai ka andaza karun”
I will continue writing on my site sharatbhushan.com and blog ”Insight.”
With warm regards and genuine wish that you all be always happy,
From my side I don’t want to say thank you to you all for giving your precious time, I can say only “‘Santosham’. I am happy because of your interest in my mails.
Ever yours in Baba’s grace